Not so innocent words from an innocent girl

Chapter -1

The Fifth Child

It was British colonial time in India when Tani Devi was eight months pregnant with her fifth child. She already had four boys. Her husband Janak and the whole family were small-scale farmers in a small village in West UP. They had a small land…


She was lying all calm and victorious as if she has defeated one of the biggest enemies or as my brother calls it frenemy and she calls it life. 125 years in this world and a life with no regrets is more like a fantasy for almost all of…

Those ineffable words in the inked voice.
I talk to her per day twice.
She lends me her heart and not ears.
That inimitable sensation
makes me forget all my fears.
Never seen her, never did I met.
On inquisiting,
her comfort and love,
is all what I get.
In my miseries and in my sorrow.
In a hope for a better morrow.
Even if I dance or do I cry.
In the midnight with a swollen eye.
Whether I fail or do I succeed.
Be it a school exam or life’s battlefield.
You are the calmness
That makes me bold.
I am just the part of your soul.

The dark night,
Her eyes still so bright.
Sky full of star
And Oh the moon's irreplaceable borrowed light.
Disquieted heartbeats
And suddenly a bomb someway far exploded so bright.
A massacre so huge,
Not only the family, it also slaughtered her life.

The tiny hands,
sitting in her mother's lap.
Trying to wake her up,
Thought she is taking a nap.

Mommy is sleeping on the ground,
And Daddy might just have gone around.
I am scared for the sound
around is so loud.
Can't wake up mommy,
Cause she might be sleeping so profound.

It was so dark, but even the dogs didn't bark.
The 3 year old couldn't sense what this war has led her to embark.©

Clinching the towel with tiny fingers,

But alas could she cry, the silence lingers.

With heavy heart she day dreamed.

Of a life full of her book's personages.

And at the moment, childhood breamed.

Stars turned to fire.

And she felt every mouth to be a liar.

Wishing to see her mother once.

Questions and complaints, she had tons.

Stealing food in her own house.

Can she ever be normal,

Question in every eyes aroused.

One day, I'll be free.

Of the pain and buzz like a bee.

I'll live my childhood all over again.

But can my heart ever overpower this brain?

Thought she in her stupid little head.

Destiny smiled.

Of course my child nothing for now could be said.

It's been a long time

Since the things are not fine.

From aggressive to humble.

Heart is as heavy as Dumbell.
Cure to the broken heart.

Indulge in some art.

Life is small enough to unravel.

Leave everything and travel.
Yeah, I've traveled.

Not to mountains nor to the oceans.

But to the hospitals and the sea of emotions.

Finding my own self in this commotion.
Least I expected was

a little care from you.

But all I got was

negligence and feelings hewed.
What about the promise

To stay forever.

To care forever.

Was it my fault

My lack of endeavour?

What ever it might be.

Can you give me back the real me ever? ©

Isn't it so beautiful,

I have grown up to look like you

Same attitude just the day is new.
All these years with clematis life .

Like you were once,

head held high.

Clinching the legacy, holding the principles.

Cloistered was I.
Never did I saw, nor did I met.

Waiting for you,

In procrastinating, my whole day went.

Why couldn't I learnt the acceptance?

Atleast in these events,

I too could be jubilant.
They say,

You're the other name of strength.

Does that mean,

I am to live less

Because I have no clue where you went.
Tough world, survival is tough.

Tough mortals, path is rough.

Alas! You left midway.

Do you realise?

I am your first ray...©

Aarushi Singh

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